Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Latest Mormon Ad Campaign

The Mormons have long been actively advertising themselves on television. Their most recent campaign is kind of interesting. Conspicuously absent from the recent ads is any mention of the Book of Mormon. Instead it's all about Bible. And not just the Bible, the King James Bible.

Mitt Romney is a Mormon running for president. His natural base would be the Christian Right, but it will be something of a tough sell because to evangelicals, the Mormon church is not Christian but some other religion, possibly even a cult. Many in that movement will be reluctant, to say least, to support someone outside of mainstream Protestant Christianity.

This is what makes the ad campaign interesting. By downplaying the Book of Mormon and emphasizing the Bible, the Mormons are playing up common religious ground with the evangelicals. The choice of the King James Version furthers this. While most evangelicals don't care too much which translation of the Bible you use (so long as it's a respected one), there are still some hardliners out there who view the KJV as the one true English Bible, all others being perversions. So the thrust of the ads is seemingly to make the Mormons as a church more palatable to Christian conservatives. And if the church as a whole is more palatable, so will a member of that church running for president.

Quote of the Day (2007-05-31)

Lisa: My family never talks about library standards. And every time I try to steer the conversation that way, they make me feel like a nerd.
Comic Book Guy: We are hardly nerds. Would a nerd wear such an irreverent sweatshirt?
[open his jacket to show off his shirt]
Lisa: [reading the shirt] "C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN".
[laughs]
Lisa: Oh, only one person in a million would find that funny.
Professor Frink: Yes, we call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio."

Source: The Simpsons

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-30)

Nash: Alicia, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data.
Alicia: I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance.

Source: A Beautiful Mind

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-29)

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

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Monday, May 28, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-28)

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, as Cabinet Secretary I am, of course, most eager to reduce public spending, but as Head of the Civil Service, I am responsible for the very real dangers which will arise administratively if a pay rise does not come through very soon. It's so difficult for me, you see, as I am wearing two hats."
Jim Hacker: "Yes, isn't that rather awkward for you?"
Sir Humphrey: "Not if one is in two minds."
Bernard Woolley: "Or has two faces."
Jim Hacker: "Perhaps I should relieve you of one of them?"
Sir Humphrey: "Oh no, no, no. I am perfectly happy with both of them."
Jim Hacker: "Faces?"
Sir Humphrey: "Hats!"

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

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These Go to 11

And now for that extra push over the cliff....

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Vitameatavegamin

More comedy for Memorial Day.

Quote of the Day (2007-05-27)

And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her own dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.

Source: Holy Grail

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

Homer's Funniest Moments

A little comedy for the weekend.





Quote of the Day (2007-05-26)

Homer: [Bart has offended Lisa, and he's surprised she's visibly angry at him after saying that nothing is wrong between them] Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Source: The Simpsons

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Moving Beyond 9/11

Andrew Sullivan has a good piece on Barack Obama, concluding he may be unstoppable and identifying him with Reagan. One comment, though, stood out to me:
To listen to a stump speech five or so years after 9/11 and wait for almost half a speech until he mentions it is disconcerting. And yet, it is also bound up, surely, with his appeal. That appeal is partly to take us past the 9/11 moment, and describe a journey forward that isn't obviously into darkness.
It's been five and a half years since 9/11. Why should that event still loom over so many other far more pressing issues today? No, I'm not saying that terrorism is not important and not a threat to national security. But I have long maintained that as a nation we have been too fixated on the horror of that day, an event that was in the end an anomaly. A catastrophic one to say the least, but an anomaly all the same.
The consequence of fixating on that day and elevating the threat of terrorism over other issues is George Bush, whose only lasting accomplishment in his so-called war on terror is to aid the terrorists by giving them Iraq as a training area. The primary focus of Bush's 2004 campaign was terrorism, the threat it posed, and how he was the only one who could defend us. Yes, I'm running the country into the ground. Yes, the deficit is skyrocketing. Yes, I'm assaulting your civil liberties. No, we don't have healthcare for everyone. Yes, I'm putting incompetent people into high positions in the administration, and people like those in New Orleans suffer in consequence. Yes, I'm alienating our friends. Yes, the greatest success we've had in regime change is with the regimes of our remaining friends. Yes, I'm soiling the reputation of our country around the world. But.... 9/11. 9/11. 9/11!

Personally, I find it refreshing to have someone with the courage to not focus on 9/11 and to be willing to say that there are other issues that need addressing.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-25)

Jim Hacker: "Obviously the Home Secretary will have to resign."
Sir Humphrey: "Alas, yes."
Jim Hacker: "What on earth will happen to him?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, I gather he was as drunk as a lord, so after a discrete interval they will probably make him one."

Source: Yes, Minister

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

A Colorblind Vote

In the name of considering the possibility of a color-blind vote for president in 2008, the Chicago Tribune has a story focusing on black voters and their views of Obama. So, to consider a non-racial vote, they break things down by race. And much of the discussion of this colorblind-ness is on whether or not Obama is sufficiently "black" without being too black. The undercurrent of the article is that the vote would only be colorblind if Obama wins. If he wins, it was colorblind, if he loses it's because "the whole of America will [not] allow a black man to win the presidency." Interesting how that all works.

Quote of the Day (2007-05-24)

George: "I'd rather be dating the blind. You know, you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. A good looking blind woman doesn't even know you're not good enough for her."
Elaine: "I think she'd figure it out."

Source: Seinfeld

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-23)

Carolyn Burnham: Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

Source: American Beauty

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-22)

Bart: [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us.
[holds pony tail to his head]
Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.
Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.

Source: The Simpsons

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Monday, May 21, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-21)

[after Milhouse moves out of town, Skinner and Willie are shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends]
Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!

Source: The Simpsons

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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-20)

Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow' us?
Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. - Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
Inigo Montoya: No reason. It's only... I just happened to look behind us and something is there.
Vizzini: What? Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters�

Source: The Princess Bride

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Movie Review: Spider-Man 3

The saga of Peter Parker and his alter ego continues this summer with the third installment of the franchise. In my review of Spider-Man 2, I raved about the film but warned that other super-hero franchises were great the first two films, but fell apart in the third with the "creeping disease of franchise-itis." With the third film--the first in the super-hero film genre to return the full cast and director of the prior films--finally in theaters we will see if the same holds true for this franchise. The summary is: it does fall short of its predecessors and shows franchise-itis, but it is still an enjoyable film.

In 2, Peter was tormented by the conflicts between his personal life and his public life in the suit. In 3, the torment is still there, but it's Mary Jane who is tormented. Peter would be, but he's far too caught up in the celebrity of being Spider-Man. To a "nerdy kid from Queens" the thrill of rescuing hot blondes in distress and getting the reward of a lip-lock is too much to pass up. And then he can't understand why his girlfriend would be upset at seeing him kiss another woman. MJ and Peter are still together. In fact, Peter plans to pop the question. But the celebrity has gone to his head, so when MJ has issues and problems in her own career, rather than listen and provide support, he goes off talking about his issues as Spider-Man. Rather than losing everything because he's conflicted about being Spider-Man, he's losing his girl because he's now become far too comfortable in the role. As with the other films, it is this relationship between Peter and Spider-Man that provides the main story.

This big sign of franchise-itis in the film is the presence of three villans: Green Goblin 2 (dismissively referred to as Goblin Jr.), Sandman, and Venom.

Goblin is, of course, Peter's old buddy Harry Osborn, who still holds a grudge against Spider-Man for killing his father. The two engage in a spectacular fight early in the film, which all but kills Osborn. Peter takes him to the hospital, and when Harry wakes up he finds he has lost part of his memory, including the memory of who Peter is. This enables the two to become friends again. But, of course, Harry eventually remembers and gets back to the business of bringing down Peter Parker.

Sandman is Flynt Marko, the man, we find, who really killed Uncle Ben in the first film. He's a thief who steals to provide money for his sick child. While running from the police, he falls into a particle physics experiment (which inexplicably has nothing to do with particle physics, but rather whipping up sand storms in a controlled environment), where his body is destroyed and he becomes a creature of sand.

Venom is, well, hard to explain. First, there's what I would call pre-Venom. This is a gooey, living substance from a meteorite that, when bonded with a host, accentuates various negative characteristics of that host, particularly aggression. This substance finds its way to Peter, where it gives Spider-Man a black suit and a much more aggressive personality. At first Peter enjoys the power, but after one particularly shocking incident, he realizes what he's become and so frees himself from the goo. Then we get Venom proper. The goo, leaving Parker, finds its way to Eddie Brock, a photographer competing with Parker and who has been particularly humiliated. Brock becomes Venom, a creature much like Spider-Man in abilities, though far more evil.

There are too many villains flying around. None really get well developed. Venom is never even named in the film. I only know the name because of reading other reviews of the film. Apparently he is a pretty popular villain in the comics, but the film doesn't do much with him. He appears late and only has a couple of scenes before the big climactic fight. Sandman is just plain frustrating because he's like two different characters. The rules don't even seem well defined. The first time Spidey fights Sandman, he punches right though him. Sandman is, after all, a sand man. The movie uses this when convenient. But other times, when convenient, Spidey can hit him hard. As a character, he starts out being a thief with a good cause, then he becomes a pure bad guy trying to kill Spider-Man (for no defined reason), then at the end he becomes the thief with a good heart again.

At least the main story is well told and developed. As already written, Peter has become caught up in his own celebrity (anonymous though it may be). He's not there for MJ one night because he has to go off and do his superhero thing. He doesn't really hear MJ when she's trying to share the hurts of her day. And there's the aforementioned hot blonde and her lip-lock. Eventually, when she just needs someone to talk to, she pauses before dialing Peter and instead switches up to Harry's number.

Meanwhile, Peter is enjoying the things the pre-Venom goo is doing to him. Women notice him, initially with apparent interest but then with laughter to which he's oblivious. In what is easily the most hilarious sequence in the entire trilogy, Peter channels his inner John Travolta and Saturday Night Fever's his way down the street to buy a black suit (from a second hand shop, of course). He's no longer the push-over geek of high school. When Brock gets the staff job that Parker has wanted for years, Peter physically intimidates and then humiliates him, and enjoys doing so.

After MJ breaks it off with Peter, in an extremely well acted scene by both Dunst and Maquire, Parker gets his revenge by bring the now twice aforementioned blonde to the club where MJ is singing and proceeds to (a) show her up by performing a fantastic dance sequence that steals the spotlight and (b) shoving the blonde in her face. Very un-Peter-like, but it's not over. This sequence leads to the shocking incident mentioned above which knocks some sense into Peter's head.

With Peter's head finally cleared and dealing with a lot of remorse over what he had become, the stage is set for the climax. Which is disappointing. Having to wrap things up with so many bad guys makes for an over-long, not to mention somewhat recycled, ending. The resolution with Sandman cheats and doesn't really make a lot of sense. The resolution with Venom requires discovering at just the right moment a totally contrived weakness in the enemy. (As the Knights Who Say Ni have certain sounds and words they cannot bear to hear, so goes it with this alien goo.) The Goblin story line is the best resolved, but even that requires...well I won't give it away. Suffice it to say, a development comes out of nowhere to allow that storyline to get resolved.

So, in the end, Spider-Man 3 is an enjoyable summer flick with a lot going for it, but bloated and overly ambitious which makes it the least satisfying of the three.

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Saturday, May 19, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-19)

Jerry: "I thought you said people dressed up when they go to the opera?"
Kramer: "People do. I don't."

Source: Seinfeld

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Friday, May 18, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-18)

I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]

Source: Holy Grail

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-17)

GALAHAD: They're doctors?!
ZOOT: Uh, they've had a basic medical training, yes.

Source: Holy Grail

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-16)

Sir Arnold: "But once they have accepted the principle that senior civil servants could be removed for incompetence, that would be the thin end of the wedge. We could loose dozens of our chaps, hundreds perhaps."
Sir Humphrey: "Thousands..."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-15)

Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest castle in these islands.

Source: Holy Grail

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Monday, May 14, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-14)

Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.

Source: Holy Grail

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-13)

Marty DiBergi: Do you feel that playing rock 'n' roll music keeps you a child? That is, keeps you in a state of arrested development?
Derek Smalls: No. No. No. I feel it's like, it's more like going, going to a, a national park or something. And there's, you know, they preserve the moose. And that's, that's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know.
Marty DiBergi: So when you're playing you feel like a preserved moose on stage?
Derek Smalls: Yeah.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-12)

Bedever: So, logically....
Peasant: If she...weighs the same as a duck...she's made of wood.
Bedever: And therefore...
Peasant: ... A witch!

Source: Holy Grail

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Friday, May 11, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-11)

"You know, it is so sad. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons."

Source: Seinfeld

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Baseball Is Getting Desperate

Ah, the local Brewers:
Want free baseball tickets? All you had to do last night was show up at Miller Park, home to the Milwaukee Brewers, and let a doctor check your prostate.

After the "free and confidential" rectal exam, you would have scored two free tickets to a future Brewers game.
One of my colleagues at work is trying to put together a team outing to a Brewer game. Hmmmm.

Why Is Prostitution Illegal?

Cathy Young asks why prostitution is illegal in this country. Her rationale for questioning this status is that
prostitution is perhaps the ultimate victimless crime: a consensual transaction in which both parties are supposedly committing a crime, and the person most likely to be charged—the one selling sex—is also the one most likely to be viewed as the victim.
Heading Right responds by appealing to inherent human dignity:
At its most basic, this transaction involves the selling of a human being for the most intimate of purposes. It makes little difference whether the women (or men, for that matter) sell themselves or someone else sells them, or even “rents” them. It exploits humans for no purpose other than meaningless gratification; it turns people, and usually women, into nothing more than a commodity like pork bellies or cattle futures.

There is something essentially missing from a society that protects that transaction in law: the idea of humans as sacred, and not just in a religious sense. Human societies have almost always structured themselves on the notion of the exceptional status of humans; Western civilization has built itself on the concept of the individual human as the center of existence. Selling women in red-light districts cheapens everyone by denying the exceptional in humans — the religious would call it the soul — and reducing people to the value of their component parts, or even less. The prostitute is valued for her vagina and possibly her breasts, and the rest comes as a package deal that some customers barely notice.
The response is reasonable, but how often in our culture do people sell themselves in one way or another?

The film industry features women disrobing constantly, and defends doing so as "art". Is the unknown actress who is taking off her top and getting groped valued for much more than the breasts she is baring? But should we attempt to regulate film-making again to ban nude scenes?

The backbone of the advertising industry is using hot women to sell their products. Are those models valued for much more than the bits hidden behind the bikini?

What about the canonical gold-digger, giving her body to a man in exchange for his money? Is that any different than the prostitute, other than the prostitute doesn't make any pretensions about what she's doing or why? What about the woman who sleeps with the boss to get a promotion?

What about ordinary women who use sex with their partners as leverage to get something they want? She wants a weekend in the country, so she makes sex conditional on hubby agreeing to go. Isn't she selling her body to get something she wants? What about the woman who has sex with somebody just to get their companionship?

I understand what Heading Right is saying, but it seems to me people in our culture, particularly women, are broken down into body parts all the time. Are we to regulate all of those situations to prevent such "degradation?" Are we to have a national dress code so that women aren't tempted to show off their bodies in order to get ahead? Are we to regulate marriage and relationships in general so that women are only having sex for the "right" reasons, and not trading access to their bodies for other compensation? It's a noble sentiment, but ultimately unenforceable in a free society.

Right makes the mistake of associating legalization of prostitution with protection or endorsement of prostitution. This is not correct. Legalization simply recognizes that the people involved are consenting adults, and if a woman is willing to give access to a piece of her body for some compensation (money, companionship, a house, fame, promotion, whatever) she is free to do so.

Quote of the Day (2007-05-10)

Jim Hacker: "But we can't stab our partners in the back and spit in their face."
Bernard Woolley: "You can't stab anyone in the back, while you spit in their face."

Source: Yes, Minister

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-09)

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

Source: Holy Grail

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-08)

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.

Source: Holy Grail

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Monday, May 07, 2007

Cold Fusion, Real?

A new paper has been published which claims detection of fusion reactions at room temperature, a.k.a cold fusion. They took the debunked claims of Fleischmann and Pons and continued refining their process.

Quote of the Day (2007-05-07)

[after slicing one of the Black Knight's arms off]
King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off.
Black Knight: No it isn't.
King Arthur: What's that, then?
Black Knight: [after a pause] I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar.
Black Knight: Come on ya pansy.

Source: Holy Grail

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Dobbs on 60 Minutes

I caught 60 Minutes tonight, featuring a story about Lou Dobbs. A lot of the story was devoted, of course, to Dobbs' views on illegal immigration. During the course of the story, they made a rather cryptic comment. After noting that Dobbs' wife is of Hispanic heritage, and that her parents live with them, they stated that this was a contradiction of his illegal immigration views. They never explained how this was contradictory, so we the viewer are left to try to figure it out for ourselves. (Pretty sloppy, that.) The only thing I can figure is that 60 Minutes is accusing either Mrs. Dobbs or her parents, or both, of being illegal immigrants. They don't even establish that any of them are immigrants, let alone illegal ones, but then make this veiled accusation.

If that is not the accusation and the source of the contradiction, what else could it be? Being Hispanic is about as relevant to the illegal immigration debate as liking chocolate chip ice cream. Being a legal immigrant is about as relevant to the discussion as liking tacos. They might as well say Dobbs drinks Corona beer but opposes illegal immigration, what a contradiction.

Quote of the Day (2007-05-06)

Captain John Sheridan: Are you trying to cheer me up?
Susan Ivanova: No sir, wouldn't dream of it.
Captain John Sheridan: Good, I hate being cheered up.
Susan Ivanova: In that case we're all going to die slow, agonizing deaths.
Captain John Sheridan: Thank you, I feel so much better now.

Source: Babylon 5

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Saturday, May 05, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-05)

Victor Melling: In place of relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun!
Gracie Hart: Oh, *I* have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?
Victor Melling: Ah! But that is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - and that works for me!

Source: Miss Congeniality

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Friday, May 04, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-04)

Jim Hacker: "Fortunately Bernard, most of our journalists are so incompetent that they have the gravest difficulty in finding out that today is Wednesday."
Bernard Woolley: "It's actually Thursday, Minister."

Source: Yes, Minister

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

Mother's Day Gifts

I was in a Hallmark store last weekend. It's all decked out, of course, for Mother's Day. They had their usual assortment of trinkets and figurines. But some really stood out. There was a figurine of a SWAT cop, shotgun raised to the eyes ready to fire.


There was the figurine of the soldier wearing a gas mask and an M16. And another soldier, running, M16 raised in a firing position.


I guess nothing says Happy Mother's Day better than a soldier in a gas mask.

I fully respect the military. My father served 26 years in the Air Force, including some time in Vietnam. I was raised through high school on Air Force bases. I understand wanting to express support for the troops. But there is something vaguely disturbing about these being gifts. What does it say about our country?

Quote of the Day (2007-05-03)

Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:
- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is."
Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"
Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-02)

Jim: Five standard excuses?

Sir Humphrey: Yes. First there's the excuse we used for instance in the Anthony Blunt case.

Jim: Which was?

Sir Humphrey: That there is a perfectly satisfactory explanation for everything, but security forbids its disclosure.
Second, there is the excuse we used for comprehensive schools, that it has only gone wrong because of heavy cuts in staff and budget which have stretched supervisory resources beyond the limits.

Jim: But that's not true is it?

Sir Humphrey: No, but it's a good excuse. Then there's the excuse we used for Concorde, it was a worthwhile experiment, now abandoned, but not before it had provided much valuable data and considerable employmenpt.

Jim: But that is true isn't it? Oh no, of course it isn't.

Sir Humphrey: The fourth, there's the excuse we used for the Munich agreement. It occurred before certain important facts were known, and couldn't happen again.

Jim: What important facts?

Sir Humphrey: Well, that Hitler wanted to conquer Europe.

Jim: I thought everybody knew that.

Sir Humphrey: Not the Foreign Office.

Jim: Five?

Sir Humphrey: Five, there's the Charge of the Light Brigade excuse. It was an unfortunate lapse by an individual which has now been dealt with under internal disciplinary procedures."

Source: Yes, Minister

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Quote of the Day (2007-05-01)

Charles: Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and... , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...
Carrie: That was very romantic.
Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

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